How to be successful in dating while in your forties

It is the wish of virtually everybody to find someone that they can love, cherish and stay with for the rest of their lives. While some are lucky to get someone long before they reach the age of 30, some remain single long after their fortieth birthday. This could be due to always meeting the wrong people during their 20s and 30s. In other cases, they were too busy chasing their dreams and not ready to date until they suddenly realized they were in their forties. It is generally believed that dating in your forties can be hard. This is due to a lot of factors, some of which include;

Changes in Priorities

Compared to when you were much younger, your forties are more focused and prioritized. For instance, you tend to give more attention to your children, if you have any, your family, your career, and other worthy causes you are involved in. Juggling all of these and looking for a partner can be daunting. Besides, you may not feel inspired to go through the whole process again if you have dated while you were much younger.

Changes in Appearance

Changes in Appearance

In their forties, most people tend to be dissatisfied with how they look. This dissatisfaction may range from trivial to overarching. Sometimes, it can be over a slight bulge of the stomach, flabby arms, a fatter body, slight or full baldness, receding hairline, unattractive walking gait, etc. These changes in your appearance cause most people to put themselves down and feel no one would want them with all that baggage or cause them to put other people down, thereby eliminating their chances of ending up with someone.

People’s Opinion

This is another thing that can make dating in your forties harder. Younger people may decide to not give a damn about what their friends and family say and go ahead to get hooked with their choice. However, for older people, it is not like that. You tend to care about what your family will say, how your children will feel, how your spiritual leaders will react, what your colleagues will think of you, what your neighbors will say behind your back, etc. All of these can hinder you from finding dating easier in your forties.

Too Much Seclusion

Most people who find dating hard in the forties keep to themselves and those they already know a lot. It is unlikely you find a partner if you keep to yourself a lot, only associate with those who already have partners, and are not making attempts to improve your social circle.

However, dating does not have to be stressful and difficult just because you are in your forties. You just need to tweak your lifestyle and schedule a little and keep an open mind while at it. Here are some things to do if you want an enjoyable dating experience.

Try Volunteering for Worthy Causes

Look for places and non-profit organizations where your skills and knowledge can be of use and volunteer to serve. It is mostly believed that people who volunteer are selfless and good people. Besides, volunteering gives you access to meet amazing individuals from which you can find a partner and even form lifelong friendships.

Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way of your happiness

It is expected that your friends, family, kids, or those around you may want to dictate their own choice of your partner for you to follow. It is your job to find out what you want in a partner and communicate it to them. They will not live your life for you. Although it is advisable to consider their opinions, it is unwise to let those opinions cause you to lose a good person. Show them you respect their opinions, but it is your life after all.

Try Out Social Media and Other Dating Apps

Social network sharing and commenting in the online community, Man hand holding smartphone and using application social media with icon heart
Social network sharing and commenting in the online community, Man hand holding smartphone and using application social media with icon heart

The internet has made a lot of things easier, dating inclusive. You do not have to be hurt from the pain of not getting a partner. Try to use social media and other dating apps to implement your desires. However, you have to be careful when using social media. You can always ask younger social media savvy younger people for directions whenever you feel it is beyond you. There are different dating websites for all kinds of people. For example, if you are looking for a committed and long-term relationship, you should look for dating sites for people who are looking for commitment and long-term relationships.

Be Open-Minded

Middle aged couple in a cafe enjoying a coffee
Middle aged couple in a cafe enjoying a coffee

You can find love anywhere, even in the least expected of places. You can also find your choice partner in someone you never expected. It is best to keep an open mind while dating in your forties. The possibilities are endless, but you can only see them and maximize them if you keep an open mind.

Seeking Help from a Dating Coach 

Many things have changed since you dated at a young age. Another thing that you might find absurd is the concept of a dating coach. A dating coach is like your personal trainer who helps you not give up when dating becomes too much for you in your forties. Such a person can help you make online dating profiles or guide you to send those initial messages to someone you find interesting. 

Initiate the Move 

happy woman in shirt having video meeting on smartphone
happy middle aged woman in white shirt with hat having video meeting on a smartphone outdoors near green wall.

One of the drawbacks of dating during the forties is that you grow habitual of blatantly stating what you want, which often keeps you from making the initial move. Being older and having lots of dating experience might make you a little picky and not make the initial move because you know this person will not turn out the same. 

In most cases, it is not how dating turns out to be. You have to make the initial move to start things so that dating can move further. Hesitating due to fear of rejection is never helpful in dating. You should be able to handle rejection or acceptance.

Be on the Same Page

Be on the Same Page

Unlike dating at younger ages, dating in the 40s might involve more people on both sides of the family. The person you are dating might also have kids. So, it is best to check if both of you are on the same page while dating.

Moreover, a pro tip for dating in the forties where you both have families and exes is to keep looking for any red flags. If your dating partner keeps talking about their past partners at various stages during your dates, then it might be a sign that they are not over them yet. Holding a grudge against your past partners is not what getting over them implies. 

Older Age Might be perfect for Dating 

Old age dating is not uncommon or odd. Instead, it is more exciting than ever. You become braver, more thoughtful, wiser, and more mature than your younger self. You might also become better at handling rejections, which is a bonus in dating. So, if you are waiting for the right time to date and you are in your 40s, nothing should keep you from it. Go for dating confidently without anxiety overcoming you – Yes, you can do that – just keep the above points in mind while seeing your date.