It’s easy to take your spouse or significant other for granted, especially if you have been together for a while. During the early stage of the relationship, making your partner feel loved and special has been a joy – an automatic reflex for you. But now that you have reached a stable stage, the initial flames may have cooled down. Keeping the fire burning is the key to a happy marriage and a lasting relationship. There are countless ways to make your partner feel special to even further your intimacy.
Here are a few tips on how to show your partner that they are still very special to you:
1. Spend Quality Time Together
Always carve out time from the day to be with each other. There is no substitute for time spent with one another. Plan a weekly date night or have a night in together. Watch a movie together without checking your phone. If they’re washing the car, either lend a helping hand or bring them some cold drink. You may simply stand near and chat. Show them that you enjoy being in their company, even in simple ways.
2. Show Your Appreciation Even For the Small Stuff
Never forget to say “thank you” and acknowledge the little things your partner does. Express your gratitude even for small things like taking out the trash or buying milk from the store. You may feel grateful, but they won’t know that you are unless you express it. It’s easy to forget saying “thanks” for the small stuff, especially if your spouse or partner has always been doing it, but it doesn’t hurt to stop and be thankful that somebody does it for you.
3. Say Them, “I Love You.”
You can never express these three important words enough for your partner or spouse. Always remember to say them meaningfully, and give your partner your full attention when doing so. Try to make fun ways of doing it to avoid sounding like a broken recorder. Text them or chat them “I love you” randomly in the middle of the day to let them know you are thinking of them. Share a funny picture, or slip little notes in their pocket or purse. Slip them an “I love you” as you wake up and before you go to sleep.
4. Compliment Them
Remember how much you complimented your mate as you flirted with them when you were at the early dating stage? Keep telling your partner these sweet little things. Tell them they look fabulous, smell good, how great he looks in that blue shirt, or how hot she looks in that floral dress. Serve as your beloved’s best mirror and be their source of uplifting words, so they will never feel that they lost their attractiveness.
5. Do a Small Act of Kindness
Love doesn’t always have to be expressed in grandiose and elaborate gestures. Sure, it’s nice to do so, but the little things matter most of the time. You can pack your partner lunch or plan a surprise lunch visit to their office. Give them a relaxing massage before you go to sleep, cook them their favorite meal, and kiss them when they arrive home. Get her favorite ice cream or his favorite drink when you’re at the store. These little things and non-verbal actions will show that you are invested in your relationship and seek ways to improve your partner’s life.
6. Give Them Undivided Attention
When you’re having dinner on a date night or chatting beside one another, it’s best to put your phone down and concentrate on your partner. Nothing says, “You’re important to me” more than focusing on them and putting off all possible interruptions. Make eye contact and listen to them. When you stare at your phone as they talk, the message you send to your partner is that the person you are texting or emailing with is more important than them. If the call or text on your phone is really urgent or important, excuse yourself rather than saying nothing to them.
7. Touch Them
Even if physical touch isn’t each other’s love language, be affectionate by touching or caressing your partner. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Touching your partner will make them feel special, safe, and loved. Simply putting your hand on top of your partner’s hand when you’re on the couch together sends a message. You can hold hands as you walk through the street, cup your partner’s face when you’re talking to each other, and if you’re both games, try a massage. Hugging is also a great habit between partners. Research shows that hugging releases oxytocin to the brain, which fosters bonding and happiness.
8. Give Them Gifts
Another way to ensure that your partner feels special is by being generous to them. When you love a person, you will naturally like to give them gifts. Don’t forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. But besides these dates, be innovative – try giving them a little something they will appreciate. The gifts don’t always have to be expensive.
9. Be Supportive
One of the ways to ensure that your partner feels special is by supporting and assisting them. Think of the things you can do to make your partner’s burden lighter. Ask them, “How can I help you?” Share your goals with one another, create goals together, and help one another build plans on making that happen. Support and encourage them to pursue their dreams, visions, and endeavor. Work as a team.
10. Improve and Make Some Adjustments
Do you have bad or annoying habits that drive your partner crazy? Some arguments can be avoided if you put in a little effort. If your partner has always told you to put your socks in the laundry basket or clean the bathroom once in a while, do it. Make some adjustments and try to improve yourself for your partner’s benefit. Be intentional about putting your love into action by showing that you pay attention to your spouse’s concerns and needs.
11. Be Your Partner’s Biggest Cheerleader and Best Friend
Constant criticism and negative comments will kill a relationship quickly. Be that voice they keep hearing during the up and down moments of their lives, not the voice they dread to hear. Encourage and support your partner in their every endeavor, and assure them that you are both in it together. Be the voice that tells them, “You can make it,” rather than “You won’t amount to anything.” Be their friend when doubts and fears arise and be the source of their confidence.
12. Follow Through with Your Promises
Trust is a huge part of why relationships move forward and grow deeper. If you can show that you are reliable and your words translate to actions, your partner will feel secure and extra close. Every time you say you will do something, follow through with it, and be committed to your word. It may seem insignificant at the moment, but it can build a stronger relationship as a whole. Don’t let your relationship reach a point where your partner won’t believe anything you say anymore.
13. Make Them Feel Needed
No one likes to feel useless, especially in a relationship. Make your partner know that you value them and their inputs and contributions to your life. Let them know that you need them by opening up and seeking their advice. Being a couple means being a member of a team and making them feel that they are worth being with. Know your partner’s strengths, learn to leverage them, and identify how they can be valuable in your relationship. The more you allow your spouse or partner to assist you, the more they will feel special in your life.
14. Respect Them
The person you love deserves some respect and appreciation. They might have been putting up with your weaknesses and mistakes, so show some gratitude for them staying and accepting you despite these things. Honor them for their love and support for you. Whether they misbehave or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you chose them to be your partner, so treat them as the most important person in your life because that is who they are.
15. Make Sacrifices for Them
You will be willing to go the extra mile even if it’s not convenient for you if it’s for the person you love. One way to show how special they are to you is to go out of your way for them. Ask yourself, “What sacrifice have you made for your partner lately? Have you gone out of your way to do something for them recently?” If you can’t answer these questions, it’s time to level up your commitment and be willing to do inconvenient things to make your beloved’s life a little better.
16. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
Many couples face the problem of pronouncing their needs out loud to their partners. As a result, there is a gap in fulfilling the needs, and relationships suffer. According to Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages, couples need to learn and speak the love language of their partners. This topic has significantly bridged a wide gap in fulfilling the unmet needs of couples.
Love language is the way people prefer to receive love messages. For some, it can be certain acts of service, while for others, random physical touch of love is appreciated. Other modes of love language include:
- Receiving gifts
- Spending quality time together
- Words of affirmation and appreciation
Therefore, learn your partner’s love language and make them feel exceptional. If your partner loves the exchange of gifts, you can consider the following points helpful:
- Restock their favorite items, such as their preferred brand of coffee beans or bath bombs, before they ask you.
- Buy small random gifts for them without any special occasion.
- Gift them a coupon for their favorite salon or spa treatment.
- Plan a surprise date and inform them via a little piece of paper hidden on their dresser.
- Buy them their favorite book and read with them.
17. Share Home Chores and Responsibilities
There is nothing that can make the mother of your children happier than giving her some kid-free time. Sharing home responsibilities is something that couples appreciate a lot, as outlined by a 2018 research study in the Journal of Emotion. People in a relationship were more thankful for their partners when they perceived them doing a task for them.
Some of the things you can do are:
- Take the responsibility of making breakfast for your partner every day or only on weekends (whatever suits your marital life).
- Take turns to put kids to bed (if any) so that you both can get some free time.
- Take turns in doing groceries every week.
- Help your partner in prepping for meals.
Some Random Acts of Love
- Recreate your partner’s favorite restaurant meal at home.
- Leave love notes for them to stumble upon randomly.
- Say “I love you” several times a day.
- Share their interest and keenly listen to them when they share things.
- Plan a surprise date.
- Find a new hobby or interest for both of you and explore together.
- Go on long drives and enjoy each other’s company.
- Buy each other morning coffee before work.
- Prepare warm bubble baths for each other at least once a week.
- Be empathetic on their tough days.
- Share their goals and aspirations in life and be their biggest cheerleader.
- Reflect your trust and commitment through your behaviors.
- Remember the special dates and be sure to get a present, no matter how small it is.
- Watch movies and shows together.
- Enjoy breakfast in bed on weekends.
- Plan an unexpected vacation.
- Go for a walk daily and maybe hold hands in public.
- Be mindful of your partner’s mood swings and understand them.
- Buy random gifts for each other without any occasion.
- Drop lovey-dovey and appreciative messages once in a day to bring a smile to your partner’s face.
Respect is the Key
There is nothing that reflects love more than respect. It is crucial to have the boundaries of respect maintained. If your love of life means to you more than the world, it is time to show them small gestures such as bringing flowers or buying video games. Relationships should grow in depth with time. They should be developed on the soil of love and mutual respect.
You should remember to always be considerate about your partner’s needs. Give them due personal space and time so that they can be alone with their thoughts for a while. It is always good to share goals with your partner and support their life aspirations.
If you think something is missing in your marriage and you would do everything to fill that gap, check out these Blog Sites and Resources for Marriage Improvement.