Everyone in the world suffers from bad memories that cause them emotional pain, but we often have different ways to cope with them. For most of us, letting go of heartaches and sad moments can be difficult, as the pain that we felt during those experiences seemed to be engraved in our minds. However, remembering all these sad events in our lives is usually a conscious decision, so there is a way for us to control our thoughts and stop thinking about those bad memories.
Letting go of the past is not as easy as forgetting about them, as you may eventually remember them by just doing simple things during the way or by seeing an object or a person that reminds you of sad memories. But what you can do to have a better time letting go of these memories is by following some simple methods that let you heal your mind so that those memories won’t affect you as much as they did in the past. Here are some tips to learn the art of letting things go.
Focus on the Present
What’s unfortunate for most of us is that we often get stuck in the past, meaning that our thoughts are always about what happened to us just days, weeks, and years before, and these thoughts would usually take away our focus for what we are doing in the present. So, one of the best methods to let go of the past is to just focus on the present. Focus on whatever it is that you are doing at home, school, or work, and don’t allow yourself to think about the past. By focusing on the present, you will have more self-awareness since your mind wouldn’t be jumbled with thoughts, and you will also have the ability to have a better performance in the tasks you are doing.
Stop Blaming Yourself
One of the reasons why we are still thinking about bad memories is that we often blame ourselves for not changing certain decisions that led to those sad moments. The blame is often accompanied by thoughts about changing the outcome of those memories, which are bad thoughts to think about since you really cannot change the past. To let things go, it is essential that you stop blaming yourself for those moments happening in your life and just accept that they happened. You cannot go back to the past to correct your mistakes, so it would be best to just move on and try to focus on the present.
Don’t Let It Control Your Emotions
There would sometimes be moments in our lives where we would feel happy for a few minutes, but then we will remember about our heartaches, and our happiness will be erased in an instant. This phenomenon is brought about by our inability to control our emotions and letting our bad memories control them. Don’t let these memories control your current emotions, and try to focus on your happiness in the present instead of having thoughts about the past. As mentioned earlier, you should always focus on the present so that you won’t be able to think about bad memories, and that process can also be applied to this tip, as focusing on your current task will prevent your past heartaches from controlling your emotions.
Have a Hobby
Having a hobby is a good way for you to let things go, as doing hobbies are fun but also requires focus, and focusing on something will allow you to stop thinking about the past and eventually forget about them. Find some hobbies that will keep you occupied while you are doing them, such as playing an instrument, reading a book, building puzzles, or watching movies or TV shows. Hobbies will enable you to focus more on the present than in the past, as they would need your full attention.
Reduce Your Time on Social Media
Social media is usually one of the places where you will be reminded of bad memories, as you would often see people that caused these memories and also some photos of those bad moments in your life. In addition, social media today can be toxic, as the apps are full of negativity more than positivity, and you would often feel jealous of people that seem to be happier than you. Stay off social media for the whole day and just use it whenever a loved one wants to talk to you through it or if you want to talk to a loved one. By reducing your time on social media apps, you will be able to focus more on yourself and the present rather than other people and the past.
Talk to Your Loved Ones
Talking to your loved ones about your heartaches and bad memories can let you have a different and more positive perspective on those moments, as your loved ones may offer you a solution to let go of those memories and be happier. Socializing can also make you feel less lonely, as you would think that you are not alone when dealing with your problems in life. Always remember that you will always have someone to talk to if the heartaches get too distracting or damaging to your emotions.
As mentioned in the introduction, letting things go, especially the memories that have caused immense pain in your heart and mind can be very hard. However, keep in mind that you don’t possess the power to change the past, and those sad memories are needed in order for you to know and appreciate more the happy moments in your life. Sad events are inevitable, but the days that we live aren’t always just sad, as there will also be moments where we would feel joyful. Be grateful for those happy moments and always remember them instead of focusing on sad memories.